Quotes

My friend Jane was on the Congress Bridge at dusk and overheard two sorority girls talking about the bats. “I read somewhere that there’s a BILLION bats here,” said one. “Wow, that’s a lot,” said the other. (Editors note: There aren’t really a billion bats. That would be insane.) I’m trying to convince my buddy…

“I like tourists. If tourists come, I have money to play golf. No tourists, no play golf.”