A little context is necessary for this postcard. My good friend Andrew was almost trampled to death by a moose on a recent trip to Yellowstone.
Don’t piss off elephants. They’re huge! If they had these things in Yellowstone you’d probably be dead by now. I’m glad they keep them here where you’re not likely to be attacked.
You know something else they have here: delicious food. I’ve been eating straight for the last four weeks. You see the photo on this postcard with two guys riding a giant beast? That’s me. I’ve put on a ton weight and even grown a tail. To work some of it off I’ve started carting tourists around on my back.
But enough of my adventures! I’ll have more to tell when I got home- if they can find me a seat on the airplane.